Seven Pounds--SPOILER ALERT

It has been a while since I have left a movie and sat in the parking lot sobbing before I could drive home, but that is exactly what happened tonight. I decided I would treat myself to a movie at the "real" theater, meaning not the dollar theater. I had seen the previews for Seven Pounds and it looked really good. Add to that the fact that I love Will Smith and you have a great reason to watch what promised to be a great movie.

Don't get me wrong, it was a great movie that kept you on the edge of your seat trying to figure out what Smith's character was up to. You know he is falling in love with a girl that is dying waiting for a heart transplant. His brother is tracking him down and while you aren't completely sure why you know he is not happy with Smith and he is worried about him. Smith and a friend have made a deal, but you have no idea what they are up to other than knowing it is not good--possibly illegal.

The problem with the movie is that it opens up with Smith's character calling 911, asking for an ambulance, and reporting his suicide. This may not be a problem for some people, but for me it was an instant red flag. You see, in 2004 I had a very close friend commit suicide. The movie immediately flashes back and sends you into a tailspin following the life of Smith's character. For me the hardest part of this movie was the idea that in the wake of such a selfish act he was so selfless. In Smith's death, many others live and thrive because of him.

Suicide is a completely selfish act, and having been close to commiting suicide myself I can both understand the absolute desolation and the shear pain that is felt on both sides of the suicide. However, this movie paints a different picture of suicide. I am by no means glorifying suicide because each of the people that Smith touches feels tremendous pain in his death, but it certainly gives a different perspective.

I saw many similarities in this movie and my friend's life. I sobbed because I was touched by the movie, I sobbed for the tremendous loss, but mostly I sobbed because I miss Jeff terribly. My life was changed because I knew him. My life has changed because I no longer have him.