It has been a while since I have left a movie and sat in the parking lot sobbing before I could drive home, but that is exactly what happened tonight. I decided I would treat myself to a movie at the "real" theater, meaning not the dollar theater. I had seen the previews for Seven Pounds and it looked really good. Add to that the fact that I love Will Smith and you have a great reason to watch what promised to be a great movie.
Don't get me wrong, it was a great movie that kept you on the edge of your seat trying to figure out what Smith's character was up to. You know he is falling in love with a girl that is dying waiting for a heart transplant. His brother is tracking him down and while you aren't completely sure why you know he is not happy with Smith and he is worried about him. Smith and a friend have made a deal, but you have no idea what they are up to other than knowing it is not good--possibly illegal.
The problem with the movie is that it opens up with Smith's character calling 911, asking for an ambulance, and reporting his suicide. This may not be a problem for some people, but for me it was an instant red flag. You see, in 2004 I had a very close friend commit suicide. The movie immediately flashes back and sends you into a tailspin following the life of Smith's character. For me the hardest part of this movie was the idea that in the wake of such a selfish act he was so selfless. In Smith's death, many others live and thrive because of him.
Suicide is a completely selfish act, and having been close to commiting suicide myself I can both understand the absolute desolation and the shear pain that is felt on both sides of the suicide. However, this movie paints a different picture of suicide. I am by no means glorifying suicide because each of the people that Smith touches feels tremendous pain in his death, but it certainly gives a different perspective.
I saw many similarities in this movie and my friend's life. I sobbed because I was touched by the movie, I sobbed for the tremendous loss, but mostly I sobbed because I miss Jeff terribly. My life was changed because I knew him. My life has changed because I no longer have him.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Impact List
Last week I was sitting at church in the First Wednesday service listening to Jeremy talk and trying not to fret over my precious angel that was using the empty section next to me as her personal play space. He was talking about all the ways that we can serve and be connected to God at Christmas and not get caught up in the busyness of the holiday season. One of the things he was talking about was a personal Impact List. That is a list of all the people that we would come in contact with over the holidays that we knew needed a personal relationship with Christ.
As I sat there I began to think, "Who is in my circle that needs a personal relationship with Christ?" I became convicted by the idea that I really didn't have any relationships with non-believers. I work in a Christian university, not that I am naive to think that because it is Christian everyone there is a Christian. The majority of my friends attend church somewhere, most of them were seated around me. I don't see my family and the majority of them are believers anyway.
As I sat and stared at my blank piece of paper only one name came to mind. The name of someone I am just getting to meet. The name of someone I had a long conversation with the day before about this very thing. The name of a friend's soon-to-be-ex-wife. As I sat there and prayed that God would give me the names of people that I could have an impact on the only name I could think of was this name. I began to argue with God and tell Him that there must be others that I could develop a relationship with. There must be others that I could impact. Others that weren't so controversial, someone else that I didn't stand to lose so much for. But instead of giving me other names He just kept saying this name over and over again, louder and louder.
I am waiting on the "perfect" opportunity to approach her, the "right" words to say, the friendship to grow "stronger". At least that is what I am telling myself, maybe I am just waiting. Wondering why God puts the "difficult" people in our paths to impact. Wondering what it is going to take for me to make the move.
As I sat there I began to think, "Who is in my circle that needs a personal relationship with Christ?" I became convicted by the idea that I really didn't have any relationships with non-believers. I work in a Christian university, not that I am naive to think that because it is Christian everyone there is a Christian. The majority of my friends attend church somewhere, most of them were seated around me. I don't see my family and the majority of them are believers anyway.
As I sat and stared at my blank piece of paper only one name came to mind. The name of someone I am just getting to meet. The name of someone I had a long conversation with the day before about this very thing. The name of a friend's soon-to-be-ex-wife. As I sat there and prayed that God would give me the names of people that I could have an impact on the only name I could think of was this name. I began to argue with God and tell Him that there must be others that I could develop a relationship with. There must be others that I could impact. Others that weren't so controversial, someone else that I didn't stand to lose so much for. But instead of giving me other names He just kept saying this name over and over again, louder and louder.
I am waiting on the "perfect" opportunity to approach her, the "right" words to say, the friendship to grow "stronger". At least that is what I am telling myself, maybe I am just waiting. Wondering why God puts the "difficult" people in our paths to impact. Wondering what it is going to take for me to make the move.
12 Days of Christmas
Yes, even Scrooge's like me can be touched by Christmas.
I was sitting in my office this morning when one of the Building Services crew members asked me if I knew why there were 12 days of Christmas. I wasn't sure but I knew it had something to do with Christmas and Epiphany. I went to everyone's faithful go-to friend Google and searched "why 12 days of Christmas", clicked on the first link I saw and opened a page giving a detailed description of religious calendars and the time span between Christmas and Epiphany. Following the detailed description there was the lyrics of the song and the supposed meanings behind each of the verses. I have included that here:
On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me... A Partridge in a Pear Tree
The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus the Christ, the Son of God, whose birthday we celebrate on December 25, the first day of Christmas. In the song, Christ is symbolically presented as a mother partridge that feigns injury to decoy predators from her helpless nestlings, recalling the expression of Christ's sadness over the fate of Jerusalem: "Jerusalem! Jerusalem! How often would I have sheltered you under my wings, as a hen does her chicks, but you would not have it so . . . ." (Luke 13:34)
On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Two Turtle Doves
The Old and New Testaments, which together bear witness to God's self-revelation in history and the creation of a people to tell the Story of God to the world.
On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Three French Hens
The Three Theological Virtues: 1) Faith, 2) Hope, and 3) Love (1 Corinthians 13:13)
On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Four Calling Birds
The Four Gospels: 1) Matthew, 2) Mark, 3) Luke, and 4) John, which proclaim the Good News of God's reconciliation of the world to Himself in Jesus Christ.
On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Five Gold Rings
The first Five Books of the Old Testament, known as the Torah or the Pentateuch: 1) Genesis, 2) Exodus, 3) Leviticus, 4) Numbers, and 5) Deuteronomy, which gives the history of humanity's sinful failure and God's response of grace in the creation of a people to be a light to the world.
On the 6th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Six Geese A-laying
The six days of creation that confesses God as Creator and Sustainer of the world (Genesis 1).
On the 7th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Seven Swans A-swimming
The seven gifts of the Holy Spirit: 1) prophecy, 2) ministry, 3) teaching, 4) exhortation, 5) giving, 6) leading, and 7) compassion (Romans 12:6-8; cf. 1 Corinthians 12:8-11)
On the 8th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Eight Maids A-milking
The eight Beatitudes: 1) Blessed are the poor in spirit, 2) those who mourn, 3) the meek, 4) those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, 5) the merciful, 6) the pure in heart, 7) the peacemakers, 8) those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake. (Matthew 5:3-10)
On the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Nine Ladies Dancing
The nine Fruit of the Holy Spirit: 1) love, 2) joy, 3) peace, 4) patience, 5) kindness,6) generosity, 7) faithfulness, 8) gentleness, and 9) self-control. (Galatians 5:22)
On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Ten Lords A-leaping
The ten commandments: 1) You shall have no other gods before me; 2) Do not make an idol; 3) Do not take God's name in vain; 4) Remember the Sabbath Day; 5) Honor your father and mother; 6) Do not murder; 7) Do not commit adultery; 8) Do not steal; 9) Do not bear false witness; 10) Do not covet. (Exodus 20:1-17)
On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Eleven Pipers Piping
The eleven Faithful Apostles: 1) Simon Peter, 2) Andrew, 3) James, 4) John, 5) Philip, 6) Bartholomew, 7) Matthew, 8) Thomas, 9) James bar Alphaeus, 10) Simon the Zealot, 11) Judas bar James. (Luke 6:14-16). The list does not include the twelfth disciple, Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus to the religious leaders and the Romans.
On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Twelve Drummers Drumming
The twelve points of doctrine in the Apostles' Creed: 1) I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth. 2) I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord. 3) He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the virgin Mary. 4) He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended into hell [the grave]. 5) On the third day he rose again. He ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. 6) He will come again to judge the living and the dead. 7) I believe in the Holy Spirit, 8) the holy catholic Church, 9) the communion of saints, 10) the forgiveness of sins, 11) the resurrection of the body, 12) and life everlasting.
I pray that as you hear this song sung for the thousandth time this year that you reflect on the meaning of each of the verses and remember that Christmas is not about Santa, presents, and food it is about the One "true love" who came to die for us all.
I was sitting in my office this morning when one of the Building Services crew members asked me if I knew why there were 12 days of Christmas. I wasn't sure but I knew it had something to do with Christmas and Epiphany. I went to everyone's faithful go-to friend Google and searched "why 12 days of Christmas", clicked on the first link I saw and opened a page giving a detailed description of religious calendars and the time span between Christmas and Epiphany. Following the detailed description there was the lyrics of the song and the supposed meanings behind each of the verses. I have included that here:
On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me... A Partridge in a Pear Tree
The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus the Christ, the Son of God, whose birthday we celebrate on December 25, the first day of Christmas. In the song, Christ is symbolically presented as a mother partridge that feigns injury to decoy predators from her helpless nestlings, recalling the expression of Christ's sadness over the fate of Jerusalem: "Jerusalem! Jerusalem! How often would I have sheltered you under my wings, as a hen does her chicks, but you would not have it so . . . ." (Luke 13:34)
On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Two Turtle Doves
The Old and New Testaments, which together bear witness to God's self-revelation in history and the creation of a people to tell the Story of God to the world.
On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Three French Hens
The Three Theological Virtues: 1) Faith, 2) Hope, and 3) Love (1 Corinthians 13:13)
On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Four Calling Birds
The Four Gospels: 1) Matthew, 2) Mark, 3) Luke, and 4) John, which proclaim the Good News of God's reconciliation of the world to Himself in Jesus Christ.
On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Five Gold Rings
The first Five Books of the Old Testament, known as the Torah or the Pentateuch: 1) Genesis, 2) Exodus, 3) Leviticus, 4) Numbers, and 5) Deuteronomy, which gives the history of humanity's sinful failure and God's response of grace in the creation of a people to be a light to the world.
On the 6th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Six Geese A-laying
The six days of creation that confesses God as Creator and Sustainer of the world (Genesis 1).
On the 7th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Seven Swans A-swimming
The seven gifts of the Holy Spirit: 1) prophecy, 2) ministry, 3) teaching, 4) exhortation, 5) giving, 6) leading, and 7) compassion (Romans 12:6-8; cf. 1 Corinthians 12:8-11)
On the 8th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Eight Maids A-milking
The eight Beatitudes: 1) Blessed are the poor in spirit, 2) those who mourn, 3) the meek, 4) those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, 5) the merciful, 6) the pure in heart, 7) the peacemakers, 8) those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake. (Matthew 5:3-10)
On the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Nine Ladies Dancing
The nine Fruit of the Holy Spirit: 1) love, 2) joy, 3) peace, 4) patience, 5) kindness,6) generosity, 7) faithfulness, 8) gentleness, and 9) self-control. (Galatians 5:22)
On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Ten Lords A-leaping
The ten commandments: 1) You shall have no other gods before me; 2) Do not make an idol; 3) Do not take God's name in vain; 4) Remember the Sabbath Day; 5) Honor your father and mother; 6) Do not murder; 7) Do not commit adultery; 8) Do not steal; 9) Do not bear false witness; 10) Do not covet. (Exodus 20:1-17)
On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Eleven Pipers Piping
The eleven Faithful Apostles: 1) Simon Peter, 2) Andrew, 3) James, 4) John, 5) Philip, 6) Bartholomew, 7) Matthew, 8) Thomas, 9) James bar Alphaeus, 10) Simon the Zealot, 11) Judas bar James. (Luke 6:14-16). The list does not include the twelfth disciple, Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus to the religious leaders and the Romans.
On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Twelve Drummers Drumming
The twelve points of doctrine in the Apostles' Creed: 1) I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth. 2) I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord. 3) He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the virgin Mary. 4) He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended into hell [the grave]. 5) On the third day he rose again. He ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. 6) He will come again to judge the living and the dead. 7) I believe in the Holy Spirit, 8) the holy catholic Church, 9) the communion of saints, 10) the forgiveness of sins, 11) the resurrection of the body, 12) and life everlasting.
I pray that as you hear this song sung for the thousandth time this year that you reflect on the meaning of each of the verses and remember that Christmas is not about Santa, presents, and food it is about the One "true love" who came to die for us all.
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